The DL WOmen.

A while back a few of my co workers were having a conversation pertaining lesbians and being gay. How did that come up?...I don't remember. But one of my co-workers,  being a female, expressed how she was once hit on by another chick. She expressed that she was 'strictly-dickly' and there would be no chance of her ever going that route. And this raises the question. Can people continue allow females the double standard on the subject of sexuality? That it's easier and simpler for chicks to turn to other chicks and it's not a big deal as gay men.

My female co worker reacted the way many sincerely straight men would react to this... understandably. "I'm not gay, I don't have problems with you being, but don't come at me on some gay shit." Is what she said. The question is if you are a SINCERE heterosexual female  then there would be NO chance of you being otherwise, right? I'm sure you have heard it a lot..."I went gay cuz dudes hurt me too much!" which I always thought was BULLSHIT, because a female could you hurt as well as a dude can. Are these type of chicks making excuses because they may always been CURIOUS? Have females been given to much credit that they can 'switch' sexuality just like that and it isn't as complicated as being a  gay man?

I don't if I have blogged about 'turning out' before, but I DON'T believe in getting 'turned out.' For men, if you do things with another dude you must have been curious all that time. I don't believe that a sincere heterosexual men is that weak to be convinced to do that. Just as well I find it hard to believe females go GAY because of the amount of time their hearts have been broken.

But in honestly, YES...there will always be a male/female double standard. One that I believe is that 'cute' drunken parties where chicks may lick shot off of each other's belly and do a little kissing. But that's mostly for SHOW for their, just as drunk, audience. THAT is way difference then actually experiencing the 'full course meal.' Which is HAVING a lesbian lover, having  sex and all of it. 

Females are more EMOTIONAL, right? Things have more to do with emotion than sexuality, right? Despite how I feel about it..this is said to be true. Because of this I have also thought about the amount of women that could have boyfriends and husbands with a CHICK on the side. 

Yes, thats RIGHT! Everyone is so concern with the DL MAN, what about that DL WOman!? As if women don't cheat too?...Pleeeeeeeeeease, infidelity is NOT owned by one gender and neither is the lifestyle of the 'down-low.' So how many females are out there on The Down Low?

Looking Back...

[Actual image from former high school's courtyard]

So out of boredom, I just happen to start looking through my old high school yearbook. Reminiscing...not a good thing, because my high school times were not good times.  It was rare that I could go at least a whole week without them doing something to piss me off. And it wasn't the students I had problems with, No...I didn't  get bullied or teased. The whole 4 years I only problems with one guy my junior year. He got kicked out of school though, so obviously he didn't care about his education. But it was the administration and teachers that keep bothering me.   From getting into trouble by trying to PREVENT an altercation to getting trouble for wearing skull cap in COLD weather. Yes. And of course these are the times I was REALLY getting into that damn internal WAR; Me vs. My sexuality. So that was the icing on the cake. 

You would THINK my senior year would be better, right? It's my last year. How about I had to wear UNIFORMS on my very last year. Before that...I assure I was among the BEST dressed at that school and now on my last year I had to look like everyone else. Wasting money only to buy the schools uniforms for only ONE year. Ruining the changes of ME possibly crowned 'best dressed' in the year book that year...why would the have a 'best dressed' award when everyone looks the SAME. 

And is it just ME or traditionally seniors in high school have 'special privileges'...or at least a LITTLE. As a senior I had none. If anything the FRESHMANS of that year came in and got treated like ROYALTY. That school was ASS-BACKWARDS! Actually rolling red carpet out for them would have not surprised me after all the shit they was already doing for them. I didn't get that treatment as a freshman there.   

It's also a bit depressing that I'm only featured once in the yearbook and that's in the senior picture section. No pictures of me out and about around campus like everybody else that I've seen countless times in the yearbook. 

Still regret not going out with a BANG by saying 'fuck it' and going to my prom in a all pink suit and tried harder to enjoy my prom the best I could, because I didn't enjoy it.