To My DISmay

I never kiss'd a boy, but I kno I'll like it
Not so quick 2 label self gay, but kno I'm NOT str8.
I honestly, I really, don't wanna be like this.
I wish I could be ridded of this attraction.
For every attractive guy in public,
I have 2 conceal an reaction.

I have the same want, a need, that a female holds,
That is, to be held, & be told, by the man I love,
He loves me. A boyfriend 2 bring home 2 the family,
And nothing 2 be wrong with it. No one will look down on me.
Why couldn't I have been of this... "gayness"
W/out the possibility of being disowned
To be spit on by society, & call'd a fag,
The possibility of EVEN THAT coming from
My very own dad.

Many think it's a choice. I laugh...
At that because they have no clue.
Why would I choose this...Why would I choose to be this,
To be put down & tormented, by others & MYSELF.
To keep this secret of my sexuality inside me is bad 4 my health.
But WHAT would become of me if anyone was 2 kno.
For everyone I kno, to turn their backs on me
It hurt me deeply so.


Yes, I wish there was a way to rid me of this,
But, contrary 2 others beliefs, my sexuality is here 2 stay.
To my dismay, I AM GAY.