3.06.2015

Are You Gay & Masculine Or Just Avoiding The Feminine Stereotype

To many gay dudes make being gay all that they are about. My sexuality doesn’t have to be everything that I’m about. I don’t think it’s self hate to not want to be thought of as a “typical” or stereotypical gay dude. Like ok you’re gay is that all?
That was a response from {one individual} on one of my post on Tumblr when discussing feminine gay men. Let more debate on this MASC vs FEM war began, smh. 

Sadly, this could very well the mentality of many masculine men in the gay community. Purely believing that feminine men center their life around homosexuality because they are they way they're is completely unfair. Its no more true than stating that just because a women is a women that her WHOLE life is centered around that. I am black, everything about me isn't about my race. I am a male everything about me isn't about my gender and so on.   

I expressed that I belief this homophobia [because that IS what it is] towards feminine men within the gay community is self-hate. 

This was my response:


Maybe their not thinking about being “typical” because too busy just being them. The assumption that because their flamboyant does not every imply their whole is based on that. That’s the same thing we also do as blacks, we police ourselves because we’re so fearful of being look at as the stereotype of blacks and then we put that onto other blacks, Its to the point were I have to have ask, as a masc GAY man, are you that because that’s natural to you…because that’s your personality…is it because you’re just being true to self…or is it ONLY because you masculinized [dont think thats a word, it is now lmao] yourself because you’re ashamed of being look at as “stereotypical.” And you want to avoid it so much that you're purposely making yourself exra "macho."

My philosophy is, stereotypes come from SOMEWHERE…it comes from a bit of truth, the problem is when its sold as the WHOLE truth, but nevertheless…people forget, there are feminine gay who not trying to be the stereotype, they are just  being true to SELF. There were feminine gay men before there was the stereotype. So its not like that’s what they are purposely tryning be.



See and that’s the great thing about being GAY. Is that there is no limit to masculinity. Because as a straight man, there are certain things  that man cannot do or it would be considered GAY….but if you’re already GAY…why put a LIMIT on yourself out of fear of being seen as a “typical” gay.



That’s why It say its self-hate…but deep down, theres something that still makes you feel ASHAMED that you policing yourself so that you won’t be “TOO GAY.” Like….WWWHY?!





Why DOES the gay community resent feminine men so harshly?

3.05.2015

Homophobia More Accepted Than Racism

Did that catch your attention? Well as a young gay black man, I have to talk about this.




Racism is alive and “well,” but in some aspects…really think about how subtle it may be at times. Because many, try to hide it. Racism has happened, IS happening, WILL continue to happen, but many racist are not upfront with it.

As more people denounce racism, plenty of racist know that if [openly] racist, it could cause backlash and not just from blacks, but from their fellow Caucasians. Whilst homophobia is still greatly accepted. You say something homophobic and a great number of people will rally behind, but because society has changed, if said person was to say something racist many would fear publicly agreeing with those racist views. It is a new day and they actually fear the consequences of their racism.

People AREN'T as scared as letting their homophobia show as people will let their racism show.

You can see it happening in the media multiple times. How many times have you heard about somebody saying some racist shit and they ass got EXPOSED. There is NO need to expose those homophobes because they’re open about their distaste for LGBT.

Most people in this day and age are conscious that racism is fucked up. While more are openly able to agree in unison that gays are “abomination.”

Racist are more likely [not saying All] to be subtle, lowkey and closeted. People will PROUDLY say they are against gay marriage or any kind of gay rights and shit.

But this also brings up the point that just because they don’t EXPRESS it, don’t mean that they aren't against you.

3.02.2015

You Got Good Sex

You have good sex when he does not let your dick throb without putting his mouth and/or tight ass around it.
If you’re hungry, he got that ass to eat. If you’re thirsty he got some cum to swallow.

Always ready to give, willing to receive. 




video

2.28.2015

Liberation!!: What Am I Becoming?

It has been a long time since last checked in with an entry. As I explained in the past, I've been cheating on the blogging world with Tumblr, lol. I am not sure if I have mention before, but straight to the point and let me tell ya...it's such a RUSH to masturbate at work. 

About some time last year I believe, there was a sense of curiosity that hit me as I began learning the feeling of liberation that comes from being an exhibitionist/nudist. Now before you think something TOO wild, I have not done it...yet, maybe. It started off as sending little and quick dick pics or ass shots and sexting [texting] it to my boyfriend. Then I got more and more ballsy.

Quick nudes for my man, became a full naked photoshoot in secluded places in the backroom of my job and even took some pics [just with my pants slightly lowered] right there on the sales floor. In blind spots from cameras, of course.  

What I have done is...when sometimes I just couldn't take it anymore, there a corner in the backroom at my job...I go there. I let off. I mean I work in SWEAT pants so if I am hot and bothered, people will notice dis here hard DICK...do what you gotta do, right?

With doing this brought out this side of me. I am understanding the "you could get caught at any moment" rush that turns people on. With this came fantasies and curiously of exhibition. Now I love watching videos of it, now I think about doing that...not in front of people not willing to see, but the rush of possibly getting caught BY those unwilling to see...turn on. 

I have express to my boyfriend that I would not too much mind having sex with a willing audience. The freak, nympho in me, I guess. We both have established I am the freakier one, lol. Don't worry...I will turn him out soon enough, give it time. As we have sucked each other dicks in a public bathroom stall at a mall...but who HASN'T done that? HA

With this liberation of my body. The lack of shame to show it to the world, comes with judgement. "Why whore yourself when you have someone. Isn't that wrong?" I answer, my man knows who loves him, who knows who's loyal, but he does not OWN my body. He shows I am proud. He knows "they can look, but I can fuck..."


At work, I was in my corner "handling business" when my manager came back to the backroom with another associate. This was closing time, so it was dark. I jack off with the porn on my phone that I purposely put on speaker. I could've got caught, but I was facing the wall of shoes [footwear is my department,] in a corner, so if caught I could have easily pretend to be doing other things. So they were close, very, but no one knew I was there. I had my phone playing porn with moans being heard faintly...and I had NUTTED. Them being that close, being so close to possibly getting caught, made me cum. 

Dangerous, yes, I'm risky, but I am smart about it. 

I am just a very sexual being...I have discover another very new sexual pleasure, but its a guilty one that I am not yet ready to reveal.

I am proud, way proud of my body
Maybe too proud?
It makes you shame me
I put on a show, but in actuality 
Only one pair of hands has ever touched
Why are we taught that there's shame in lust?
At a distance, here! 
Look at me, I'm right here
The beauty of the anatomy
Hell, the beauty of MINES
I am not ashamed of my body
Yes, yes, fuck me with your eyes
But, realize only one has been inside. 
What makes you shame me?

2.26.2015

I haven't got freaky with Blogger in a Long time...

So here's some personal quick videos, from me to you.
video

video

12.12.2014

Are You Smarter Than A Dog?

The arrogance of  Humanity

 We have this thing where we THINK we’re the smartest species of all. I feel differently, other animals feel, think, speak to each other just like WE do. 

They teach one another just like we do. They strategist like we do, they have natural instinct to protect their young just like we do. We are intelligent, but we as homo sapiens have flaws just like any other species. They may not live as we do but ya’ll got to stop thinking animals are dumb. Is it fair to say such as thing. They be knowing shit. They are aware of the world.

They fact that most of us GASPS in amazement whenever and if ever we see an animal doing something particular that they’re not “suppose” to be capable of. When a dog’s friend is dead from getting ran over and the dog cries…yes animals mourn just like we do. They have EMOTIONS. 

The only reason we can say we’re the smartest is because there is no other species that speaks OUR language to dispute that.

12.01.2014

Mistake or Misstep

I don't believe in cheating by "mistake." I believe premeditation of the mind and/or by the actions/situation. What I mean by that is obviously premeditation of the mind is simply the literal definition of premeditation. 



pre·med·i·tate
past tense: premeditated; past participle:premeditated
1.    think out or plan (an action, especially a crime) beforehand.

Premeditation of the actions is the same, but replace “think out” with act out and situation of things “playing out.” Meaning you could already be ACTING OUT {what may lead to your infidelity} and/or things could be PLAYING OUT in favor of leading up to the infidelity. This could happen consciously or unconsciously [YOU are responsible for your actions regardless.]

I don't believe in cheating by "mistake." Why? We live in the real world, not porn. You don’t just meet someone and after 0.1 seconds you’re already fucking them. I don’t believe cheating happens “in the moment.” Oh, when you fuck someone there’s always a buildup…already existing attraction, lingering touches, lusty stares, inappropriate conversations, and spending “quality time” with this person in leisure, all the while sexual tension is building. It’s almost always someone you may know; co-workers, friends [rather a budding friendship or one already established], estranged exes. Oh, there’s a buildup…a buildup that you LET happen. You either chose to ignore the tension or na├»ve to the fact. Either way YOU are responsible for you actions. Citing it as a “mistake” is a cop-out. You did WRONG, own it.  Somewhere down the line you made the WRONG turn to get you where you were….alone…with this person…naked…hard…panting.  Oh, this takes TIME to happen, this takes build up…

Premeditation of your actions

This is one of main reasons people cheat, because it feels GOOD to give in…to lust! The stress of trying to resist temptation and finally just letting go and letting temptation have you just this “once,” right? Was your cheating REAALLY a mistake or were you just succumbing to your desires. An attraction that became deeper…an attraction you were indeed conscious of. An attraction that got deeper the more this person came around.  An attraction that grew into lust and yet you allowed yourself to end up alone with this VERY person long enough to fuck them. Oh how I don’t believe cheating happens “in the moment.” You got ample amount of time avoid this “moment,” to assure that “moment” won’t happen, you should have seen this “moment” coming, but you didn’t resist because you were simply TIRED of resisting...

Premeditation of the situation, oh how the stars seemed to align at the right time just so you can do the do with this person that you don’t belong to.

You premeditated this with your careless and reckless actions, you premeditated this by going deeper into this sexual tension, instead of being conscious of the heat rising and turning down the temperature, you naively shrugged it off and LET it continue to build and then BOOM, you have sex with this person. But NO, you DON’T just fuck someone out of nowhere unless you’re DEFINITELY doing it on purpose. Otherwise, you may THINK it was a mistake because you “didn't do it on purpose, but it almost always was TENSION that lead to you fucking that person [and I only say “almost always” to be open to possibilities, but I really want to say ALWAYS.]



Opening Pandora’s Box and knowing you that if you keep digging it won’t be good news, knowing you should close it, but won’t, is NOT a mistake. 


11.26.2014

A Race With No Finish Line

There is possibly no where in America you could be right now and not know about the circumstances in Fergurson, MO. 


Murder. Injustice. Ignorance. Corruption. 



No, this is not a movie. This is reality. This has been happening. This day and age as the internet intensifies a headline, there are many more stories similar to those that of Mike Brown, Trayvon Martin, Sean Bell, Eric Garner, Oscar Grant, [etc]  that have not hit mainstream media.  

Disturbing. 

As a black man, my days are possibly numbered. My death could easily be the next thesis on racial injustice. I just can't help but think what can we do to stop the fiasco and can it Be stopped. What exactly are we fighting for and can we succeed. Certain things are easier and more rational than others. Demanding justice for Mike Brown and any one alike makes sense and requires  an IMMEDIATE response. Racism, though....

If we are as well fighting a war on racism to me seems like a less concrete thing to settle. When slavery "ended" in 1865 it was easier to say "Hey, you are NOT allowed to do this...can't have slaves." Vs. Trying to make them understand WHY it was wrong TO have slaves, because clearly even after being freed from the shackles {physically,}  getting our voting rights, desegregation, and a black president does NOT mean that this country is POST-racial. Don't think because the "WHITES ONLY" signs isn't seen by the naked eye, that the "WHITES ONLY" mentality still isn't there. Don't think because the lynches are over and we are allowed to sit in front bus that the "you can't sit here" mindset still isn't there. They just found new ways to degrade us.



It's easier to say DON'T do that than to teach WHY it's wrong TO do that.

Demanding to be respected LAWFULLY is not the same as being respected heartedly.  Lawfully is a battle we can actually win, but pushing to change an individual's mindset/mentality/personal feelings on racial issues seems like a childlike naivety such as expecting WORLD peace, HA...yeah, right. The country...this world is far from an utopia where we all will get along despite religion, sexuality, race and financial standing. 

For as long as there are differences in the roots of my hair from theirs, difference in my skin, this injustice will continue to be so. Am I being realist or a pessimist?

The one thing I cannot STAND about racial activists [I'm speaking mostly to the BLACK ones] is they try to make this wholesome argument...like "we are the world" and that we are ALL the same despite racial background, so we should respect one another. 

WRONG. 

We are NOT the same and I'm glad it's that way, because I am proud to be black. Trying to make people "see" that we are all the "same" in order for a mutual respect to formulate is apart of THE problem. People tend to NOT respect someone unless they walk, talk, and LOOK like them. What we SHOULD be teaching is that it's okay to BE different and that the differences between you and someone else should NOT depend on if you're going to respect them or not. 

Sure in-between laps you could get a few tune ups, but is this a race with no finish line?

11.23.2014

Let's Talk About Dick!

Let’s talk about Dick

Let’s talk about a H A R D Dick

When it’s standing at attention like it’s got a proclamation
I want it to be the thing behind me, making me scream

Exclamation

The point is  to give him something he can take

Let me bend over so he can taste

And pro-tip, I want more than just the tip

Give me all, no question

I know he like it when I’m begging

I ain’t too proud, the dick good, give it to me NOW

Pull my legs up where ever the wind blows

I want him so deep in me his cum comes out of my mouth when he close

When he close and he feel this ass enclose on him

When his eyes roll back and I throw it back on him

Para siempre

Forever this MY dick

Put these lips on him

He love being inside me and I love it when that dick buried deep.
Buried deep

Papi, throw it deep

Dick so bomb, I don’t what state I’m in

Michigan State, Florida State

Prostate
You hitting that

Got me reaching for the ceilings
Keep doing that  

You tryna make me cum first

Converse
Baby, make this ass talk

Make sure I can’t walk

Shit and I got things to do today, but Fuck it

Fuck it

Fuck me

Oh excuse me

I had a little moment, it happens 

When I talk about Dick

I mean a REAL HARD Dick

Then I get a HARD Dick

When I get around a HARD Dick

That hard dick turns into a SUCKED Dick

A drained and a FUCKED Dick

Never leaking dick

I take care of it, all of it

Every drop

Either it left me with a dripping hole or I swallowed it

Let’s talk about dick

Or better yet what this mouth and tight ass can do to it. 


11.20.2014

No Longer Will I...

As a black gay man 

No Longer Will I

Defend myself as black man

No Longer Will I

Defend myself as a gay man

As a minority I will no longer

Explain racism to the majority

As a homosexual I will no longer 

Explain homophobia to an heterosexual 

I'm getting too grown for this

Shit, I've outgrown this

I should not have to explain

Who I Am 

I will no longer.


11.16.2014

Possessive, Just Jealous or Just Right?



My man and I have both have establish that I [allegedly] may be the “crazy  one” of our relationship, Ha.   The one always question other’s intention with my man, quick to get in your face about my man, willing to go to jail over my man.

At times I had to sit back and think about rather is this right. Should I chill? Is this shit normal? This is among the reasons people get left…for being too protective. Then there’s a side of me that thinks FUCK THAT…I love HARD and I know I’m crazy, if dude can’t handle my attitude should NOT be with me. And baby, He CAN handle my attitude. He assures me, “I would be worried if you’re ever NOT crazy. It shows how much you love me.” Yet…I still worry. That enough will be enough and it will finally be too much and he leaves.

Everyone he has ever spoken to I've warned him about. Was it possessiveness, jealousy  or was I just right? Because every single one of them actually did end being an asshole/trifling one way or the other. I was always right about them yet I still feel like I’m manipulating the situation by keeping people away from him. Yet I was still right about them...all of them.

I tell myself I should stop tripping, but I feel I have ever fucking reason to trip. I don’t trust people and people have always given me a reason to continue with my lack of trust.


I just love him, I love him hard. I’m crazy  for him…hell, I’m psychotic for him. 

5.27.2014

The Funny Thing Is...

Oh how beautiful the homophobia and the double standards are of mass society. {sarcasm}


So let me get this, completely opposite of me, straight...it is okay when many countless amount of straight men kiss their significant others on national television. Amy Kushnir and many other Americans seem to think so. Oh, we've heard it all. "Yes I would even mind if it was a man kissing a women. Its just not right" But we know it's all lies  and we just don't believe. Simple fact, you wouldn't have a problem with a heterosexual kissing on TV, because of double standards. If you REALLY had a problem, where were you when this was happening?:





 "What about the children?" They ask. 

They don't want their children to see two MEN or two WOMEN expressing affection whom may be in love, but its not a problem for your kid to listen to certain types of music, watching certain types of shows and movies and NOT over seeing their use of the internet. These days I see all types of videos on the world wide web of children doing all types of foolish, disrespectful thing and most likely an adult is recording it all. They think it's "cute" that its "funny." WHERE'S the parental advisory  THEN?

All of the problems and violence of today and you sadly think that even the  mere knowledge of Knowing HOMOSEXUALITY exist is what could harm the youth? 

It's not a problem with a child knowing men are out there KILLING other men, but it becomes a "think about the children" debate when men are LOVING other men. 

The thing is Michael Sam was simple doing the same any other athlete would do, celebrate with his significant other...with a kiss.

On to another aspect of this. WHY do people seem to think that every gay person is out to FORCE their homosexuality down their throat?

A few months back [probably last year, I don't remember when exactly] a older family member of mine made a Facebook status pertaining to her son and another male student at his high school. I remember the whole thing verbatim, but it was something along the lines of 

"My son came to me today about all the feminate boys at his school and there's so many of them and its wrong that they are forcing their homosexuality onto him. What should I say to him..."

It was something like that, I am phrasing but that is the true gist of it. And of course the infamous notion "I don't have a problem with gay people though, BUT..." It took EVERYTHING in me not to comment on that status, because if I would have, it would have not been too pretty. I wanted to say, "How about you tell your son that just because someone is proud and confident with who THEY are is not a reflection upon him. In fact its actually subtle homophobia, ignorance, and arrogance to think what THAT is doing has anything to do with him. " 

That would have not been pretty and I have this thing where I WILL NOT try to argue with someone on THEIR status, that's not my place, unless they stated they wanted a debate. 


It kills me that people have this arrogance, that belief that everything is about them. If I wore a shirt that reads "I love dick" does that translate into "YOU should like dick too." NO, it does not...some how that think it does. But if a women wears the shirt, then I'm guessing it won't be problem. If a women expressing she likes DICK around other men, is THAT forcing the notion that THEY should like it too? I'm saying "I" like this, that is not "forcing" anything onto you. 

Of course other people did comment, but only to add to the fact gay is wrong and blah and one "christian" said "this is what happens when they take God out the school." REALLY? The subject AT HAND is about the very notion is forcing something on someone...Not everyone believes in God. So it's fine to force God on someone, but not "homosexuality" in which no one is forcing on you anyways. 

I may be beating a dead goose here, but fuck it, this is an journal entry. 

The funny thing is...

I can count with ZERO fingers how many times someone who is gay came to me about "joining them." [The fact that they don't NEED to because I'm already in the club is beside the point, Ha.]  I will in fact need both my hands, toes, and someone's else hands and toes to count how many times I've had people come up to me pertaining to God and am I a believer...those damned Christians. Funny fact is, I do believe in God which is why it doesn't bother me as much. What bothers me is the hypocrisy of it all. Imagine if I DIDN'T believe in God, how annoying would that fucking be! And its not like you would change my mind by annoying the FUCK out of me even I didn't believe in God. 


Oh and watch as that cutie Anderson Copper so fiercely  put Amy Kushnir on blast, hunty!



5.20.2014

They Want You To Think, But Not For Yourself

Life is all about conformity. They want you to THINK, but not for yourself.

When we are born, it's a small stage in a baby's life that is dedicated to being taught how to talk and walk. After that baby is walking more satisfactory and talking more fluently, it is then that the remaining time of their adolescence is dedicated to them being taught to "sit down and shut up." To be obedient. To "follow the rules" and know that their opinion and thoughts are less than important to that of an adult. 

It is an perfect example of how the rest of life works, but instead of how adults treat children...when you become an adult now it's other people with more authority and power to tell you your thoughts versus theirs mean shit. 

Inspire and encourage you to be all you can be, to be YOU, but when you do you are deemed inferior and they will go on to tear down everything you stand and everything you are. To be obedient. Although, obedience is not what they really want, conformity is what they really want.   

It doesn't start when you're an adult, oh no. They start to you early. The education system is conformity at it's finest. Think back to when you were in school. Imagine, math class...you have a math problem, you have solved it. You've shown your work, the answer is correct, but it is incorrect. Why? Because instead of being applauded for thinking on your OWN and figuring out the CORRECT answer your own way...you DIDN'T do it the way the teacher WANTED you to do it. You did not conform, therefore, you are wrong. 

They want you to think, but not for yourself. 

"Solve the problem, but do it like I TOLD you to do it." Conform like everyone else, don't think for yourself. If you DARE use a method the teacher didn't teach and they will get offended. 

If you think for yourself people. get. offended. Go figure. 


4.07.2014

I am READY, But Are My Parents...



In my last post I updated you on my new form of independence. I've gotten myself a brand new {well new to me} car, however used...it's still all mines. 

The process was more than stressful. With close to no help other than my boyfriend, which of course there was only so much he could even do from afar. No help from the 'rents, I looked and I searched for the right car for me all by my self. Ended up with and 2005 Hyundai Sonta, a car I've ALWAYS wanted...you know as a first car. 

I would have thought...I thought, my first car is a serious thing, therefore I thought I would get help. I thought they would both pitch in...you know, with the whole process. They did not. As matter of fact my REAL issue is nor how neither mom or dad help that much at all, but the fact that they did NOT help AND seemed to have much damn opinions during and after the process. THAT pissed me off. Would left a finger to help in the process, but once I started the process my damn self then they have a lot to say, right?

And hearing "You need more practice."
"You sure you ready?"
"You should wait."

And blah, blah...I know they're my parents, they suppose worry and suppose to care rather or not I'm ready. But all of the things they were saying seemed ALL negative to me. How about you give me something POSITIVE to balance it out. How about you show me that you are confident in me. How about talking to me about the PROS of me having a car instead of only saying shit to stir me completely AWAY from the idea, being that this should be something you would WANT for me. This isn't like when I wanted I tattoo. Having a car is something good.


To me there is NO such thing as "practice" with driving. You either LEARN how to drive or you don't. What am I practicing for...to be a NASCAR driver. I know how to handle the wheel, I know the traffic laws, I can control a car, I know to be alert about pedestrians and other drivers. Okay, so WHAT the hell am I "practicing?" Oh and this "practice" that I did do...it was NEVER much and THEN I had wait around until my dad FELT like taking me to drive around and LET me behind the wheel. Which DIDN'T happen much. So to look at me and tell me I need more PRACTICE when your ass don't let me do shit anyway is BULL. The whole point of having my OWN car is to not wait around around for my parents anymore. And I would NEVER have a car if I had wait around on my dad to let me behind the wheel, so I can "practice."