Which would YOU Want Under Your Tree...?

 I have long since decided not to do post like THIS anymore way back and decided to do actual blogging about my life, opinions and things. So I left the gracious amount of porn and Men post in the dust...BUT TODAY is Christmas and I decided to give my blogger readers some Gifts on this day.

Merry CHRISTmas


I Know I'm LATE, But....

It's Essfitcee's TWO year anniversary...well it WAS on December 20th. I'm so late, sorry [haha]. So to celebrate TWO years AND with a New year approaching...I changed the look a little. Hope you like...?


Hey! Come Here! I got something Interesting For You...

An interesting transformation, an Youtube user shares his journey from a FEmale to a MALE. And according to  him he is attracted to females the same way he was also attracted to females when He was a female. Am I confusing you, haha? So my question to YOU is: if a girl who is a Lesbian gets an sex change, is her(now a HE) sexuality now considered to be straight? I think this proves that your gender DOES NOT decide your sexuality. Because if it DID wouldn't that former lesbian female NOW be attracted to GUYS now that she had a sex change to become a guy? If I'm confusing you [i know this subject is so weird] let me explain simpler if she was a lesbian as a female...would she be a gay guy if she got a sex change?  

How Can You DENY The BEAUTY Of THIS?!...

No words need be said...but I gonna express how BEAUTIFUL this is anyway. Oh My GAWD! This IS going to be My Man and I in the future. They are sooooo Cute, AWWWWWW =)

If only.....

TRUTH was just somewhere you could DRIVE to. 

Wanna Know What's so Great About Life?

People may be able to steal PHYSICAL things from you, but they cant take your MIND. And your mind/brain is the VERY things that MAKES you…whats in your MIND creates your personality, opinions, dreams, thoughts, and your outlook on life. As long  as you still have a good functional brain then NO1 can REALLY take anything away from you. Anything that anyone take from you can be GET again using YOUR brain power. Anything that has been BUILD and then torn down can be BUILD again with the very same brain power that build it. 


Life Questions?

Is there even a leader among  incompetent individuals ?


Prepare for 2012...

And I DON'T mean be prepared for the ending of the WORLD. I mean Be prepared for 2012 in the 'good ol' USA. Why? Because this country is FUCKED UP! And every year it seems to get even more fucked up. I'm not just talking about the economy...I'm talking about the morals of the people get more fucked up each year. The youth die younger each year, get pregnant younger each year, the young [my generation] give a fuck LESSER about SERIOUS things happening in this country...each year. The people are getting even more stupid and ignorant...each year. This country is getting more and more about solely ENTERTAINMENT (ex. those fucking Kardashians)...each year.  As the economy is sinking so is everything else. Each year this country's  education gets more and more incompetent and the laziness of the people in power think that just by simply making school days longer, it will magically fix things. NO! But whatever right? That's not important right? Just be PREPARED! The presidential race OFFICIALLY kicks off in 2012, so it's about to get REAL MESSY! Obama has a supporter in me...he is trying, and I know if it's anybody but HIM then we are going to go BACKWARDS and everything that Obama has done will be UNDONE. But I'm sadly not confident that he will have a 2nd term...why?...Of course because of politics, because the people of this country are so fucked up...the politics is MORE important [to THEM]  than the problems this country faces...Soooo again, BE PREPARED!


Two Rappers, One Studio [A Short Gay Erotica]

After all this time of being the writer I am, being a writer of poetry and a few songs, here and there. I would like to take this time to INTRODUCE My very 1ST short gay erotica. 

Rapper, Big Bank, was spittin' his 16 bars in the booth...shirtless. With his pecs flexing, abs shining from sweat because of the energy and passion he was putting into his new song. As he looked down at his notepad, another rapper entered the studio. As rapper, Swagmean, looked into the booth, he looked confused. This was supposed to be his studio time. Big Bank spotted him and immediately became pissed. He had already told the studio manager he wanted no interruptions, he exited the booth.

Big Bank-"Sup homie, can I help you with somethin'" walking towards Swagmean with his juicy, pretty pink lips formed into a mug.

Swagmean-"Yeah, you can tell me why you here on my studio time" he said putting on his game face, as well, as trying  hard not to look at Big Bank 's  tatted, hot, ripped, and  sweaty body walking in his direction.

Big Bank-“Yo studio time? Aye nigga, I don’t know what you talkin’ bout. I got this shit booked for the whole day” he made it known as the other fellow rapper turns anyway from him to take off his jacket. Big Bank then notices this perfectly round fat ass on this skinny but muscular frame. Licking his lips as it flexes with his movements. Seeing how the middle Swagmean’s Hanes underwear creased into the crack of his ass was making his dick hard. And that arch in his back… [Damn, yeah….he definitely gets down AND gets dick down] Big Bank was thinking to himself, smiling.

Swagmean-“Yeah nigga, I booked this time, TODAY” as he notices the growing “8 ½  bars” inside Banks red b-ball shorts. Swag could tell he was also free balling, wearing no underwear. “But it’s not a big deal man, you straight. What was you recording?”

Big Bank-“My song, Missionary. This how the chorus go; I like it missionary, arch that back, open them legs, take this dick, I’mma make yo eyes rolled into to the back of ya head.” He recited as he walks closer to Swagmean, looking him in the eyes.

Swagmean-“That shit is hot man…I mean it’s a hot song.” He said all the while fighting the urge not to moan and extended his hand and touch this sexy ass man close to him shirtless.  Head getting kind of dizzy, Swagmean puts his hand on the recording equipment to keep his balance.

Big Bank-“Yeah, I know…maybe we should collaborate while you here” he said, while getting even closer to him, rubbing his wet abs, flexing his chest, licking his lips. “We can make some hot tracks together don’t you think….?”..............


An Historic Day!

As you all know the story behind my boyfriend and I. [Read About It Here] We have been going STRONG for 7 months now. Through out our relationship we have expressed our distaste in the distance. That hasn't stopped our love from getting deeper and stronger each day that we talk. We have wondered when will we meet. How would we? Being that neither 1 of us are in position to pick up and go as we please...getting to each other with the great distance between us is not easy. So one day when my older bro called me....saying he is going vacation and wanted to take a road trip, to non other than Atlanta, GA [where the Love of MY Life resides] So of course I was excited, but he didn't know why. He didn't know I was excited that I was gonna get to see MY MAN! I, at first, I didn't want to tell my boyfriend...I didn't want to get hopes up, because things may not have worked out. I decided to tell him anyways. Afterwards we planned our "meet and greet" in his words, "you are not gonna be here and me not see you" Haha thats my baby! Now ATL is an exciting city, but the city has a whole new level of excitement for me for obvious reasons. We decided we would meet in the MACY'S at Lenox Mall. Unbeknownst to my bro and my cousin, who I traveled to ATL with, they had no idea my ONLY interest in even being in the Peach state was MY MAN. Being at mall before him...when he sent me that text that said, "I'm here" My heart dropped, in a good way. I then told my bro and cuz, "Let's go in MACY'S" I texted my boo, to tell him where exactly was my location inside of the store. THEN....it HAPPENS! I see HIM COMING DOWN THE AISLE. OMG! He smoothly touched my lower back as he passes me. I distance myself from my family to go somewhere privately with my man. I KISSED HIM, TOUCHED HIM, CARESSED HIM, LICKED HIM, RUBBED HIM, AND...SUCKED HIM ;) I have FINALLY get to feel my man's touches, his kisses, his licks, and oh my gawd TO KISS HIM. This couldn't last forever, but it was better than great. I didn't want to leave  him. I didn't want to remember what it feels like to see him in person, because if I stay with him...I wouldn't have to. So as he goes down the escalator and me going in other  direction. I repeatedly turn back to look at him. My heart was guiding my head to look back, my brain was telling me to be discreet. Next we meet I want it to be permanent. *dreamy sigh

We bowed our heads to thank God. 
This day happened on the day of OCTOBER 27, 2011[Thurs.
An Historic Day!


Still think OBAMA hasn't done much?...

[The above websitewhatthefuckhasobamadonesofar]...challenges naysayers that believe, and want YOU to as well, that Obama has done NOTHING as 44th president. This website INFORMS you that he has in fact done many things as president. Just because the media isn't letting you know EVERYTHING that is going on behind the scenes, does not mean nothing is happening. Just click the [funny, entertaining, sarcastic] links on to the next accomplishment of Obama's presidency. BE INFORMED, you have NO excuse when I'm giving you this opportunity.


You think you know it ALL, 'cause you're So Str8?

It still amazes me how many individuals still think we are dumb, inferior and that there is something mentally wrong with us. How I know they think this? Well for example, all of those prejudice heterosexuals think they know MORE about homosexuality than WE DO.  They think that WE are the ignorant ones. They REALLY think they have more understanding of OUR sexuality, more Understanding of Homosexuality than we do. They want to tell US, why we are gay. They want to tell us, we CHOSE this. They think they have all the answers, but are blind  to their own ignorance. 

"You are gay because something dramatic happened in your life that affected your life." That is the absolute one of the stupidest thing I have ever heard. So YOU ARE telling me that something dramatic must happen to YOU to make you straight, right? To think such a thing is CLEARLY based on the fact that society has painted heterosexuality to be the superior and "normal" sexuality. So to BE homosexual...something "bad" MUST have happened to transform you into a homosexual. Because of THIS, they think we NEED therapy. Do they need therapy for their heterosexuality?   They think this is something that can be corrected. Tisk, tisk. I will not wallow in sympathy  because of their ignorance...I KNOW me, they do not. 

"Being gay is wrong because..." Let me GUESS, BECAUSE of what the Bible say? The bible that WASN'T personally constructed by God or Jesus. The bible that ALSO has a LONG list of OTHER things deemed sinful, BUT you choose to ignore. Even homosexuality was here before Jesus. Being gay is wrong...being straight isn't? Yet another justification society has use to deem heterosexuality as the superior sexuality. But the bible was ALSO used to justify slavery and any race other than white was deemed inferior. Its happening ALL OVER again...WHEN will they learn?........


Couple File for Divorce After Gay Marriage "Destroys The Sanctity of Their Marriage" O_o

The state of Bob and Sally Roberts’ eight year satirical union isn’t looking good, y’all. The Leaky Wiki writes that all those homos getting their gay marriage on in New York have broken the Roberts’ bond by stripping their marriage of its sanctity.
In an interview, Bob stated, “Sally and I have been together for a long time. Our oldest son just turned ten years old. And through all the arguing and nagging, I really did love her. But now that two men are allowed to share a life and be happy and devoted, I just don’t think that I can see my marriage as holy anymore.”
Sally held similar opinions. “Our life hadn’t been easy. Bob’s been working three jobs to support the kids. I thought of leaving him when he had that affair, but I knew my marriage was sacred in the eyes of the Lord, and [I] couldn’t leave him. But I can’t believe my marriage is holy when two homosexuals can have an honest, long-term, monogamous life as a married couple.”
Sally and Bob showed us the divorce papers. “Our lawyer said that ‘the gays’ isn’t a valid reason on the divorce papers,” Bob told us, “so we decided on a no-fault divorce.”

Really?...*shaking my head* No comment at the moment...their ignorance has me speechless.

via. [unicornbooty.com]


WE The People

WE THE PEOPLE  are not outcasts but treated as such, are we NOT a part of THIS country? WE THE PEOPLE deserve OUR rights the same as others. They think we ARE “confused” because of WHO WE ARE….we are NOT, America is. America SUPPOSE to be so high and mighty…America has always painted itself as having PRIDE in its citizens, so WHY do AMERICAN citizens need to FIGHT for AMERICAN RIGHTS? America is confused. Gay marriage is wrong? At first INTERRACIAL marriage was WRONG. How long is AMERICA gonna KEEP switching and changing what the “definition” of what marriage is instead just ADMITTING marriage is SUPPOSE to be between love and LOVE


Pharquest: Caddell & The Rebel Flag

Annie Chambers Caddell is a citizen of South Carolina's historically black dominated town called Brownsville. She moved there in 2010 with props of Patriotic spirit and Confederate pride. American eagles, jack-0-lanterns, and her most acknowledged piece - The Confederate Flag.

Since her move to Brownsville, many of her black neighbors have protested on her yard and created petitions to bannish the controversial flying fabric from their town. After a court case, the judge rejected the petition and that it was legally and morally harmless for her to wave her flag of tradition. The court case also accepted that her neighbors had the right to build a fence in order to avoid her "offensive" scenery. And that they did - an 8-foot-high wooden fence!

But that didn't stop Caddell... eventually she planted a large pole on her yard (seen in the image above) toppling over the fences and causing even more attraction to her residence."People driving by here because of the privacy fences, they tend to slow down," states Caddell. "If the objective was to block my house from view, they didn't succeed very well."

In 2011, the battle still continues. Protesters of black and white fighting towards or against the pride of Confederacy. Which leads me to my personal observation...

At first, when I stumbled upon this article via Yahoo, photos of the flag and Annie just showed me how ignorant I really am. I looked at her in disgust, wondering why she would move to a black neighborhood and show off her family tradition as if it were for intentional offense. But after watching the video, I had to give her a bit of respect. Her intent was not to offend anyone, abuse anyone, or cause conflict. She claims to not be a racist, and that she is against spreading hate. "I have not disrespected my neighbors in any manner to my knowledge. What they choose to be upset about is their choice. I don't tell you what to pick your battles over."

So if she's not abusing anyone or being disrespectful, why make such a big issue over a flag to the point where you bring it to COURT? I live in Georgia, the pit of slavery and cotton pickin' - I see confederate flags the deeper I travel down I-75 South. It scares me sometimes, but if you don't like it - don't associate yourself with it. You can't stop racism, you can't change people's mentalities, a belief is a belief that only that person can change. My neighborhood is full of drug-dealers, sex offenders, and criminals... I don't see anybody rioting over that! So to make all this fuss over a flag is indeed a ridiculous motive. And I am ashamed of myself to be a victim of such ignorance and skepticism. It is indeed a stereotype to claim anyone who has a confederate flag a racist. But regardless, I would like to know what you think? Hit up that comment box below and throw in your two cents.

(Extra note) Let me add before people get my point of view taken the wrong way. I am in no shape or form supporting Confederacy. I am only agreeing with the morality that one can believe in whatever they want - so long as they're not harming, abusing, or offending others. if she truly isn't, then let her show her stupid flag. But if she's purposely abusing her rights, then that's a self-contradiction and makes her a hypocrite.


You're Only 21 Once...


By next Monday, I'll be a "fun" TWENTY-0NE. The [above] picture is an app from my phone used to count down the days. My nieces also turn TW0 on the 1st of October. I would have LOVED for them to be born on my birthday, but I'm still satisfied they're a Libra just like their uncle. =)


In Peace, You Shall Rest...Troy Davis.

What happened to "innocent UNTIL PROVEN guilty"?

His conviction in 1991 led him into jail for his "beyond a reasonable doubt" alleged murder. But since then witnesses have changed their story and the murder weapon was NEVER found. So of course there was now "reasonable doubt," despite that he was put to death last night. [ Sept. 21, 2011 @ 11p.m.] This isn't about rather you are for or against the death penalty...this is about a possible innocent man dying for a crime he did not commit. Did he? We don't know. All we know is there was NOT solid proof linking him to the murder of that officer. This kind of thing happens ALL THE TIME concerning this country's "justice system." Innocent ones suffer, the ones that are proven to have done the crime, WALK, because they know the loop holes of the "system." Sometimes hard PROOF are thrown Out, because of something else. 

It has not been and was never about "justice." Everything about this country is ran like a business, if you don't know business then you won't succeed. The "system" have fail us many times, so this is not the end. Now I am NOT a lawyer, I am not even gonna get in depth about the case. Casey Anthony was found "innocent" DESPITE the fact she was LYING about her story from the start. THAT is making my point. The "justice system" is NOT blind, it may depend on MONEY, SEX, rather your LAWYER is really good, and Yes RACE...rather you win or lose a case, despite you being INNOCENT. 

Let's face it this guy "killed" a cop, he was NOT gonna survive this. They was going to KILL him regardless just because he was the only suspect they have. And that's the fucked up part about...when there is only ONE suspect, they WANT it to be them, so they don't look for anyone else. When you kill a cop, they ARE gonna get YOU, but when a COP kills an INNOCENT person they WILL justify it...they WILL get away with it. [i.e. Sean Bell case] You are NOT gonna get away with cop killing...cops are just as much of a GANG than BLOODZ & CRIPZ. Eye for an EYE.  Murder is wrong either way, but DAMN man. 

I could understand if they had cold hard proof, but since the 1991 witnesses stories are not solid anymore. I would understand if he appeared cocky and having a "not giving a fuck" attitude. But he was sincere and have been pleading "not guilty" ever since the 90s. Even before his death, he still gave his word to the family of the victim "I didn't do it and I hope you continue with this case." 

R.I.P Troy Davis 


It shouldn't have, But IT Happened TODAY

¤*¨¨*¤.¸¸ …¸.¤\
\ 9/11 AMERICA \
.\¸.¤*¨¨*¤ .¸¸.¸.¤*
/ \ NEVER FORGET!!! keep the flag going ♥ ♥


STRESS University pt. 2

So I'm back again with the same subject. The PROBLEM?....Well my classes aren't exactly my problem this time around. It's been bothering me for a while and I didn't even feel like blogging about it until I got into the swing of things. So the question is: where do I begin?

Let's start at how I got here. I am originally from Shreveport, but the university I'm attending is in Louisiana's capitol, Baton Rouge. On our way to the campus, my family and I got on the road at 3 a.m. so we could get there at 7 a.m... This was to set my "return" in order and check into my dorm on August 18th, so my last day of sleep ended when I woke at 3-4 p.m. the day before.

When arriving at the campus, there was an unorganized and unprofessional financial aid "process" that I had to deal with. Long lines that seemed "UNmoving." I didn't get ANYTHING taken care of until TEN P.M. that night. So, you can come to the conclusion that I went through this with NO SLEEP! Their financial aid "process" is like this EVERY year, and it shouldn't be - that shit ain't NORMAL!

Okay so let's talk about, MY DORM: A huge DOWNGRADE from what I had LAST year. Even though I REQUESTED that dorm, living in this piece of SHIT makes it feel as though I'm in the "PROJECTS". Despite having one sink, It's OLD, with uncomfortable beds, community showers, and public bathrooms. Not to mention the issue with my electrical outlets, that left me with NO AIR!

I paid all my fees ONLINE, since they told me "okay if you do it THIS way, you don't have to do THIS" Guess what? I STILL had to do "THIS", I had to walk over there to do THAT, and when I got there, "oh they moved THAT to THIS building!" - Just UNORGANIZED! LAZY ASS, UNPROFESSIONAL ASS, "DON'T GIVE A FUCK" ASS people working here.

On top of THAT, this University is filing for BANKRUPTCY. They had multiple meetings and
"said" it wouldn't affect accreditation... BULLSHIT, of course it will! I'm not looking forward to graduating only to be told, "oh, your degree does NOT hold value, your school is NOT accredited"

I was told this school USED to have 500 people on faculty, it has been cut down to 200 something. A lot of these people probably don't care because they probably feel, "oh, I might not be here any longer any way." I am INDEED NOT planning on attending this shitty ass school next year.

OH LET'S NOT FORGET, LITERALLY as I was typing THIS...there was a knock on my door, a guy with piece of paper with "NOTICE OF EVICTION" on it. Saying it's "SAYING" on file I am basically a free loading student who HASN'T paid needed tuition and fees to attend this school. WTF! REALLY YOU BITCH! I have that SETTLED now though, I had to pause THIS to take care of THAT. SOMEBODY APPARENTLY IS NOT doing their JOB, 'cause I KNOW I took care of shit on MY end. SMH.

Mind you, I am attending a REALLY fucked up HBCU[historically black college/university] which is why I have plans on attending a WHITE school next year. White schools STAY on their jobs, may sound prejudice...but it's true. People have this WRONG perception of an HBCU..."oh we all FAMILY, we care about you MORE than a WHITE school could" But yet once you get here, they treat you like SHIT. I'm gonna honestly say I don't if EVERY HBCU is like that BUT I know MY University IS, I know the University my older bro attended IS, I heard through grapevine how OTHERS are, sooooooo....Yea. WHAT is the REAL reason other black youth want to go to a HBCU, of course I would LOVE to stay here if it wasn't for the things driving me AWAY...but that's a DIFFERENT subject for a another post [I'm already thinking of a title]

Shitty school = Shitty education, not good Math AT ALL.

there is so many other in depths things, but it's too much to type...I could be at it ALL day, plus I have class in a few.

But I CAN'T take it though, surprised I really haven't gone insane yet. To go through this school financial aid "process" every year [because it easier in the Spring, but a Fall semester starts a NEW year, so you have to do the same thing every year] and THEN be put into a shitty ass dorm, going back and forth doing something just because THEY didn't do their job. Yea THAT is what been going on with me. =(


A Hidden Hate

In the eyes
No one could know
She had so much
In her heart
Too many times
She been hurt
A penny
For every tear
To satisfy the most
His greed
For pain
Her pain
Each time
He hurt her
He wanted
But she would satisfy
His greed of pain
With his own
She didn’t care
She never thought
So clear in her life
Her fear
Clouded her judgment
She mustn’t
Leave any trance
Laced his drink
He’s sleep at peace
She laughs, she grabs
The sharpest knife
So much life
Was running through her
Something she haven’t
Felt in a long time
It was his time
She looks at him
So weak and limp
She wasted so much
Of her time with him
She wasted
No more time
Into his neck
She pulls back
Her arms
Into his chest
Right where
It was supposedly a heart
Supposedly at the start
There was love
Each thought
Of what
To be
The more greed
For more BLOOD
The more she shoved
And digged into
His body
Slices and slices
When she was done
There was nothing left
But the hand
He beat her with
She took it
Put it into
A fist
Hitting her self
“THAT would be
The last time
You beat me”
Could be heard
She fell into
 Her slumber 



I have given a MUCH NEEDED revision 
to the "About the S-fit-C" section. 

p.s. YES I am back. :)


Pharquest: A Voice, Remembered... Aaliyah


Yes, I must confess... Even I, Pharquest, am a prestigious fan of the late Aaliyah. I was indulged in her sound at the age of 5. Didn't recognize her presence until 1998 - When she released one of her biggest hits: Are You That Somebody?

Released as a soundtrack promo for the book-inspired flick, "Dr. Dolittle", Eddie Murphy - the lead star in the film is projected on the video with Aaliyah and her dancers in the foreground. Recorded in a cave, the same cave as the infamous 1960's series "Batman".

This was one of the first singles I can remember of her from my childhood, and the song was addictive. No doubt, Aaliyah was a rising star who fell to her unfortunate and sudden fall - but I recall her massive amounts of radio-play from state-to-state in the late '90s.

Which leads me to her most recognizable hit - "Try Again".

Another soundtrack single released for the action/drama motion picture "Romeo Must Die" in 1999, this was also Aaliyah's debut in acting. Which drew a wider audience, increasing her popularity in the entertainment industry. 1999 was the year everyone noticed the true potential of this intermediately growing gem: not just a singer, but an actress too.

This made me grow even more of a fan. Seeing her blow up left and right that year made me intrigued to know what she was going to do next, as I assume everyone else was. One major company in particular: MTV. Aaliyah won a 2000 VMA award for "Best Video For A Film", hosted MTV's TRL, Received her own "STRIPPED" and "MTV DIARY" episode, and hosted MTV's "ICONS". Channels like MTV & BET were starting to realize that this woman was serious about success.

Aaliyah performing "One In A Million" on All-That (1996)

But enough of that... I'm not here to post her biography, I'm just here to show some recognition (as a fan), and appreciation for good, classic music. Aaliyah is the reason why I got so into Blackground's supreme "Supafriendz"; Missy Elliott, Timbaland, Nicole Wray, Shaunta, Ginuwine, Playa (R.I.P. Static), and everyone else that was affiliated. They, as well as Aaliyah, were a big part of the detour of Hip-Hop and R&B and are responsible for the harmonic, alienated sound that was created in the mid-to-late '90s.

You can't mention Aaliyah without mentioning Timbaland. If they weren't best friends, one thing is for sure - their eccentric musical elements were! Two sounds combined of completely different qualities, put together, made MAGIC. Aaliyah's smooth, soft, and jazz-inspired voice intertwined with Tim's electric, moogy sounds: crickets, baby-coos, pitched giggles, and flanger-filtered guitars created a sound that a human being would've never imagined possible.

I spoke to Missy only once, on Twitter, asking her about what inspired them to STAND-OUT from what everyone else was doing in the '90s. Missy told me whenever people went left, she went right. She wanted to make sure she was different and Timbaland did as well. He mentioned clocking out of 15-HOUR SHIFTS in the studios. Not leaving until the dawn of day. He also made an input of rendering his beats to his friends and being made-fun of his sound. Saying it sounded like a record skipping. But who would've guessed that at the rise of 1996, his sound would be admired by millions. In the words of Missy Elliott - "he turned Hip-Hop upside down and inside-out".

If you haven't guessed it by now, Blackground has had a major influence in my taste of music. Just as I was becoming engraved into cliques like: Bad Boy, Organized Noize, and Roc-A-Fella? Blackground comes out and switches it up to another exponent.

Aaliyah was one of very few entertainers that were shy, but had an outspoken discography. Her music bellowed confidence, style, and mystery that had you begging to know MORE about this woman. This is to pay tribute... that regardless of the lifespan: time can never dissolve the quality of your music, The essence of your presence, and the warmth of your soul. 10 years later, the world still spins with grief.

There's a void in R&B, but your memory remains unaltered.
Rest In Peace
Aaliyah Haughton
1979 - 2001

We must not forget the 7 other crew members who lost their lives that morning on the flight boarding from The Bahamas to Florida: Douglas Krats, Eric Foreman, Gina Smith, Chris Maldonado, Keith Wallace, Scott Gallin, and Anthony Dodd - Aaliyah's bodyguard who passed away in the hospital the day after.


Pharquest: The missing S from Fit-C

Not sure if many of you know, my baby just got back in college and unfortunately: there's no internet at his dorm right now. He's going through some difficult adjustments and hardships with this new lifestyle... From what he's told me - his new dorm doesn't have a bathroom, his bed is uncomfortable, and having no internet only makes it worse. He has no roommate as of now (kind of what he wants) but to me, it's a bit of a con as well because he's dealing with this all by himself. I can only reach him by phone and it's hard not being able to be there for him because of distance and a low battery life or bad signal. So please, if you have a heart of faith: Lend a prayer for him - that things will get better so long as he's healthy and safe.

I've had a lot of my friends contact me saying they've just been downgraded to community college or dropped out because they couldn't afford a college education. Times are getting tough and it's affecting our future leaders. He's a smart, talented, open-minded individual and deserves a better environment for his future. This was just to inform his followers of the mishap and since he's not able to do so, I'm doing it for him. He's not in good spirits lately, I just hope and pray that positive energy will be able to enlighten him and keep him fighting for the life he wants... As we all should be doing. Don't give up.


Security Is Everyone's Responsibility

This was something in my mother's email a long time ago, she printed it out. I found it 'cause of her cleaning, getting rid of unnecessary stuff. I found this DEEP and TRUE.

There was story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was am important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Now when Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.



When will people REALIZE there is NOTHING logical about LIFE? STOP wanting so many things to make SENSE in this world. You setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment. STOP trying to figure life out, quit thinking YOU have everything under control, in actuality in LIFE...shit HAPPENS. Let LIFE be unpredictable and spontaneous. Let LIFE be that one thing NO ONE can ever question. Because LIFE is not something you can explain simply and it is surely something you will NOT be able to fully understand. 

p.s. This SAME thing applies to LOVE.


I Have Learned...

Not to underestimate 
Power of Love.
mmmm..."power of love" so cliche, but yet SO real.


Dreams of Being a KAP Man

Ever since I knew what a fraternity was and what Kappa Alpha Psi was all about, It has been my dream. Even before I knew I was always told, "Yep, you are definitely a Kappa, it fits you." Apparently I have the swag for it, and Hey my favorite color IS red. Ahhh Yes the crimson and cream and bow tie wearing, candy cane swinging...that's ME. Or it WAS. =(   I have decided it was best to let that Go. Its been eating at me so Much. THIS was a BIG deal to me, but it's not gonna work, for three reasons it isn't:
  • I DO have some anger and anti authority issues. And I won't stand for the bullshit I would have to go through while pledging. I will NOT let ANY men (OR women for that matter) talk down on me like I'm their child. I am 20(will be 21 in October) years damn old, I AM a grown man, and I will NOT stand to have another grown men PADDLE me like a little boy...'cause I already know things like THAT happens when pledging. I have been through ENOUGH in my life to add being HAZED to that list, so no thank you.
  • I am GAY. I AM more Out the closet than I EVER been. I am not gonna let me wanting to pledge Kappa drive me back deeper in the closet, outta FEAR of the drama that will arise if my frat "brahs" find out. Now it's no secret and it is un written, but of course a Kappa wouldn't admit it, but everyone knows if you wanted to find a gay FRAT boi, you would have a better chance finding it within Kappas. They are the "pretty boys," to pledge Kappa pretty much requires to you to have that certain smooth style, and a sense of fashion...somewhat of a metrosexual. Of COURSE that's gonna attract some [undercover] gay guys. But those guys are UNDERCOVER...I have NOT heard of an OUT Kappa  WHILE still IN college. [There may be some who are openly gay AFTER pledging YEARS ago, that's different] I do NOT want to deal with that possible drama and homophobia within the fraternity. Even though I KNOW there has GOT to be a whole lot of gay dudes in these fraternities and Not just Kappas. But No I will not be one of them. 
  • Before I came to the HARD conclusion to let it go. One of my BIGGEST fear of this subject was to end up at an University where that chapter of Kappas were LAME. And MANNNNN at the college I attend they ARE, they are BORING, and seem stuck up. Their parties always [as I hear through the grapevine] always SUCK. Let's say if my other TWO reasons didn't apply...then THIS reason would have SINGLE handedly been the SOLE reason of me Not pledging. If so then maybe I would have just pledged another fraternity...nope, I can't be a Kappa I DON'T wanna pledge anything else. BUT I will say besides being a Nupe, I would be a Que [Omega Psi Phi]
I have a terrible feeling in my stomach. To give Up something when you really DON'T want too, but you KNOW its for the best....{sighs}


Name Change...

From "Donn M." to Sir Ess...more fitting isn't it =)

Watch The Throne

Be King or Queen
Of your own life
Watch the throne
Don’t others over throw you
Live for YOU
Be you
Be real
Be true


Pharquest: A Moving Story, An Inspirational Woman

This is Kechi Okwuchi, before you start throwing insults or make fun of how she looks, realize that this woman probably has more balls than you do. She survived a plane crash. One of the deadliest ways to perish from life on this planet, yet she survived it. That is a fighter. That is courage. That is strength.

Someone who lost their close friend who was sitting right next to her, moments before the plane impacted. To wake up and realize that everyone on that flight, that you went to school with DIED, and that you were the only survivor. To overcome that, to dry those tears, to look in the mirror and move on from such a traumatizing event and continue to be a positive individual... makes you a STRONG person.

I applaud her for sticking to her guns and look at each day with a smile. Because no matter what happens to you, if you still have your LIFE, it's never too late to start over and become a better person. She was given another chance, for what reasons? We will never know.

It isn't what the person wears, but what that person carries. Their story. That is what makes them beautiful.


Pharquest: The Church of Delusion?

My mind and mouth is full of controversy, but I can't help but touch on this subject (since this is a gay blog [and I won't touch on this OFTEN]) so grasp on it while it lasts. I want to scratch the surface of gay marriages in churches that don't accept it. I, as a homosexual, don't have a problem with gay marriage (of course), but I do tend to twitch at this type of scenario: A gay couple, that is obviously against the belief of a church's disapproval of holy matrimony between the same gender, would want to get married at that same church.

Why? is what boggles my mind. I'm blogging about this because I don't really know how to perceive it. Is it an act of religious rebellion? a "rub it in your face" if you will... ??... Not much can be said since I can't point out exactly which couples are doing it, I just know that this is what's going on and has been a motivated force of the "NO H8" epidemic.

I know my opinion may very well be different from the average homosexual, but in my opinion (as it is) it's kind of a hypocrisy. You don't accept one church's belief, but you continue to shove your opposing belief down their throats. Which is what causes conflict. You can't deny that! It's like me convincing a racist that black people aren't just good for picking cotton. It's time wasted. Hundreds and possibly thousands of Christians are enraged by the fact that there are "Churches of Satanism" existing in today's world, but can't do anything about it because of the 1st Amendment of the Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I am a strong believer in respecting another's opinion and belief. No matter how ridiculous it is! You can't change people. But you can set an example. You don't have to agree, but you don't have to intimidate, ridicule, or disrespect a person regardless of what that belief/opinion may be. Be the bigger person. I've had this discussion with straight and gay friends, and each side has had different opinions.

Try to understand that a lot of these people that discriminate do it out of fear. Whenever a human is unaware of the logic behind something and doesn't understand it, they have 2 options: learn about it, or run away from it. Which ever path they choose, You can't force a close-minded person to be open-minded and I think that's what majority of these people are doing. Forcing the Church to change their beliefs. Stop judging each other! If it's not your boat, don't float in it. Try to find a church that DOES support your beliefs or, if you want, try to make one yourself! Insisting on suggesting churches to open up to gay marriage isn't the problem, it's bashing them when they reject you that is. I can't get mad at a Scientologist for not believing in Jesus. So, you can't get mad at a Christian for not believing in gay marriage. I know it's hard being rejected for who you are, but stooping to their level does only just that.

I know this post is a little messy, and I wish I had some facts and more insight to get the situation clearer. All I know is, if no one is getting hurt, it shouldn't be stressed. Nothing wrong with a little picket-sign battle, but if it's becoming violent and people's personal lifestyles are being violated, then it's going a bit TOO far. Play the game fair. If you don't want people to change your lifestyle, don't change theirs! And that goes for both religion and sexuality. I hope and pray it all gets resolved and we can all respect each other, despite our differences. What do you think?

I have learned...

NOT to underestimate people's               STUPIDITY, IGNORANCE, AND IMMATURITY. 


Pharquest: I've never been good with first words...

-and that's even with my own blogs. I was going to just post a picture of a cute puppy or videos of baby chickens, but if I'm going to be a part of a blog that deals with self-expression, I have to be serious about exposing the "entities" that coil through my mind. BUT! Firstly, maybe I should start by telling you all who I am? No? aw..... TOO BAD!

Well, to put it short...My name is... up there in the title... ha! ...Okay, seriously: I'm 19 years old, from gay central, A-T-L-A-N-T-A. I won't tell you TOO MUCH about me here, simply because that would defeat the purpose of the BLOG. Wouldn't make sense to put it all in one post now would it?

S-Fit-C has been my main squizzeeze for a few months now, (almost 6 mo.) and as some of you know from his recent post: we met online. I, myself, after experiences with "online dating" was absolutely against it. I was going to remain single, silent, and solo-dolo. But as feelings grew stronger, a familiar tune reflected what became US... (Aaries "Strangers to Lovers")

(Sorry, if you listened to the song you probably get the gist of it already... Love that song, BTW!)
I met him through Tumblr... Gay blogs started following me and for some reason I kept bumping into his S-FIT-C blog whenever I found myself browsing through dashboards. I went on his blog a couple of times, no pictures of him to be found, so I bypassed it. AGAIN, I encountered his blog, so I said "FUCK IT" and followed him.

He seemed genuinely nice to his followers and I loved that. Despite the fact that he posted porn (a bit of a turn-off for me), I hit him up and immediately began flirting. I didn't take it seriously then, but what became a game, unintentionally got serious. We poured our traits through Skype and we found to have a lot in common. Poetry, politics, and a good sense of humor is how you win my heart. And BOY did he. We literally ended up talking for hours. Nights we didn't sleep until the sun came up. I've never had this experience with anyone in my life.

I fell in love, and subliminally I think he did too. But I'd call him my "net-boo" cause, AGAIN, I didn't take the internet seriously. But my feelings for him grew stronger that I forgot we met off a website. But anyway, I don't want to bore you more than I already have. I'm not the mushy type (or at least I wasn't) until he came into my life. THE FUCK?! I was a hard-ass, but he turned me into a marshmallow. Is this love? Or is a nigga trippin'?! Y'all be straight up, 'cause I'm not the kind to front.

Again, I apologize for putting you through the hell of 5 paragraphs. I know this isn't English class, but I hope you liked the song! I'm a music feen, so one thing to expect from me is a lot of "cymatics" and my critical critiques of whether they're "HIT" or "SHIT", you'll understand what I mean later...

So, to end this long post, a LONG question!: What do you think about young adults falling in love? How do you feel about it being "online"? Do you think it's ridiculous? Or a new outlet to meet a potential soul-mate? THUS ENDING WITH: DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOUL-MATES?! I'M CURIOUS! GET TO TYPING!