I have given a MUCH NEEDED revision 
to the "About the S-fit-C" section. 

p.s. YES I am back. :)


Pharquest: A Voice, Remembered... Aaliyah


Yes, I must confess... Even I, Pharquest, am a prestigious fan of the late Aaliyah. I was indulged in her sound at the age of 5. Didn't recognize her presence until 1998 - When she released one of her biggest hits: Are You That Somebody?

Released as a soundtrack promo for the book-inspired flick, "Dr. Dolittle", Eddie Murphy - the lead star in the film is projected on the video with Aaliyah and her dancers in the foreground. Recorded in a cave, the same cave as the infamous 1960's series "Batman".

This was one of the first singles I can remember of her from my childhood, and the song was addictive. No doubt, Aaliyah was a rising star who fell to her unfortunate and sudden fall - but I recall her massive amounts of radio-play from state-to-state in the late '90s.

Which leads me to her most recognizable hit - "Try Again".

Another soundtrack single released for the action/drama motion picture "Romeo Must Die" in 1999, this was also Aaliyah's debut in acting. Which drew a wider audience, increasing her popularity in the entertainment industry. 1999 was the year everyone noticed the true potential of this intermediately growing gem: not just a singer, but an actress too.

This made me grow even more of a fan. Seeing her blow up left and right that year made me intrigued to know what she was going to do next, as I assume everyone else was. One major company in particular: MTV. Aaliyah won a 2000 VMA award for "Best Video For A Film", hosted MTV's TRL, Received her own "STRIPPED" and "MTV DIARY" episode, and hosted MTV's "ICONS". Channels like MTV & BET were starting to realize that this woman was serious about success.

Aaliyah performing "One In A Million" on All-That (1996)

But enough of that... I'm not here to post her biography, I'm just here to show some recognition (as a fan), and appreciation for good, classic music. Aaliyah is the reason why I got so into Blackground's supreme "Supafriendz"; Missy Elliott, Timbaland, Nicole Wray, Shaunta, Ginuwine, Playa (R.I.P. Static), and everyone else that was affiliated. They, as well as Aaliyah, were a big part of the detour of Hip-Hop and R&B and are responsible for the harmonic, alienated sound that was created in the mid-to-late '90s.

You can't mention Aaliyah without mentioning Timbaland. If they weren't best friends, one thing is for sure - their eccentric musical elements were! Two sounds combined of completely different qualities, put together, made MAGIC. Aaliyah's smooth, soft, and jazz-inspired voice intertwined with Tim's electric, moogy sounds: crickets, baby-coos, pitched giggles, and flanger-filtered guitars created a sound that a human being would've never imagined possible.

I spoke to Missy only once, on Twitter, asking her about what inspired them to STAND-OUT from what everyone else was doing in the '90s. Missy told me whenever people went left, she went right. She wanted to make sure she was different and Timbaland did as well. He mentioned clocking out of 15-HOUR SHIFTS in the studios. Not leaving until the dawn of day. He also made an input of rendering his beats to his friends and being made-fun of his sound. Saying it sounded like a record skipping. But who would've guessed that at the rise of 1996, his sound would be admired by millions. In the words of Missy Elliott - "he turned Hip-Hop upside down and inside-out".

If you haven't guessed it by now, Blackground has had a major influence in my taste of music. Just as I was becoming engraved into cliques like: Bad Boy, Organized Noize, and Roc-A-Fella? Blackground comes out and switches it up to another exponent.

Aaliyah was one of very few entertainers that were shy, but had an outspoken discography. Her music bellowed confidence, style, and mystery that had you begging to know MORE about this woman. This is to pay tribute... that regardless of the lifespan: time can never dissolve the quality of your music, The essence of your presence, and the warmth of your soul. 10 years later, the world still spins with grief.

There's a void in R&B, but your memory remains unaltered.
Rest In Peace
Aaliyah Haughton
1979 - 2001

We must not forget the 7 other crew members who lost their lives that morning on the flight boarding from The Bahamas to Florida: Douglas Krats, Eric Foreman, Gina Smith, Chris Maldonado, Keith Wallace, Scott Gallin, and Anthony Dodd - Aaliyah's bodyguard who passed away in the hospital the day after.


Pharquest: The missing S from Fit-C

Not sure if many of you know, my baby just got back in college and unfortunately: there's no internet at his dorm right now. He's going through some difficult adjustments and hardships with this new lifestyle... From what he's told me - his new dorm doesn't have a bathroom, his bed is uncomfortable, and having no internet only makes it worse. He has no roommate as of now (kind of what he wants) but to me, it's a bit of a con as well because he's dealing with this all by himself. I can only reach him by phone and it's hard not being able to be there for him because of distance and a low battery life or bad signal. So please, if you have a heart of faith: Lend a prayer for him - that things will get better so long as he's healthy and safe.

I've had a lot of my friends contact me saying they've just been downgraded to community college or dropped out because they couldn't afford a college education. Times are getting tough and it's affecting our future leaders. He's a smart, talented, open-minded individual and deserves a better environment for his future. This was just to inform his followers of the mishap and since he's not able to do so, I'm doing it for him. He's not in good spirits lately, I just hope and pray that positive energy will be able to enlighten him and keep him fighting for the life he wants... As we all should be doing. Don't give up.


Security Is Everyone's Responsibility

This was something in my mother's email a long time ago, she printed it out. I found it 'cause of her cleaning, getting rid of unnecessary stuff. I found this DEEP and TRUE.

There was story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was am important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Now when Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.



When will people REALIZE there is NOTHING logical about LIFE? STOP wanting so many things to make SENSE in this world. You setting yourself up for heartbreak and disappointment. STOP trying to figure life out, quit thinking YOU have everything under control, in actuality in LIFE...shit HAPPENS. Let LIFE be unpredictable and spontaneous. Let LIFE be that one thing NO ONE can ever question. Because LIFE is not something you can explain simply and it is surely something you will NOT be able to fully understand. 

p.s. This SAME thing applies to LOVE.


I Have Learned...

Not to underestimate 
Power of Love.
mmmm..."power of love" so cliche, but yet SO real.


Dreams of Being a KAP Man

Ever since I knew what a fraternity was and what Kappa Alpha Psi was all about, It has been my dream. Even before I knew I was always told, "Yep, you are definitely a Kappa, it fits you." Apparently I have the swag for it, and Hey my favorite color IS red. Ahhh Yes the crimson and cream and bow tie wearing, candy cane swinging...that's ME. Or it WAS. =(   I have decided it was best to let that Go. Its been eating at me so Much. THIS was a BIG deal to me, but it's not gonna work, for three reasons it isn't:
  • I DO have some anger and anti authority issues. And I won't stand for the bullshit I would have to go through while pledging. I will NOT let ANY men (OR women for that matter) talk down on me like I'm their child. I am 20(will be 21 in October) years damn old, I AM a grown man, and I will NOT stand to have another grown men PADDLE me like a little boy...'cause I already know things like THAT happens when pledging. I have been through ENOUGH in my life to add being HAZED to that list, so no thank you.
  • I am GAY. I AM more Out the closet than I EVER been. I am not gonna let me wanting to pledge Kappa drive me back deeper in the closet, outta FEAR of the drama that will arise if my frat "brahs" find out. Now it's no secret and it is un written, but of course a Kappa wouldn't admit it, but everyone knows if you wanted to find a gay FRAT boi, you would have a better chance finding it within Kappas. They are the "pretty boys," to pledge Kappa pretty much requires to you to have that certain smooth style, and a sense of fashion...somewhat of a metrosexual. Of COURSE that's gonna attract some [undercover] gay guys. But those guys are UNDERCOVER...I have NOT heard of an OUT Kappa  WHILE still IN college. [There may be some who are openly gay AFTER pledging YEARS ago, that's different] I do NOT want to deal with that possible drama and homophobia within the fraternity. Even though I KNOW there has GOT to be a whole lot of gay dudes in these fraternities and Not just Kappas. But No I will not be one of them. 
  • Before I came to the HARD conclusion to let it go. One of my BIGGEST fear of this subject was to end up at an University where that chapter of Kappas were LAME. And MANNNNN at the college I attend they ARE, they are BORING, and seem stuck up. Their parties always [as I hear through the grapevine] always SUCK. Let's say if my other TWO reasons didn't apply...then THIS reason would have SINGLE handedly been the SOLE reason of me Not pledging. If so then maybe I would have just pledged another fraternity...nope, I can't be a Kappa I DON'T wanna pledge anything else. BUT I will say besides being a Nupe, I would be a Que [Omega Psi Phi]
I have a terrible feeling in my stomach. To give Up something when you really DON'T want too, but you KNOW its for the best....{sighs}


Name Change...

From "Donn M." to Sir Ess...more fitting isn't it =)

Watch The Throne

Be King or Queen
Of your own life
Watch the throne
Don’t others over throw you
Live for YOU
Be you
Be real
Be true


Pharquest: A Moving Story, An Inspirational Woman

This is Kechi Okwuchi, before you start throwing insults or make fun of how she looks, realize that this woman probably has more balls than you do. She survived a plane crash. One of the deadliest ways to perish from life on this planet, yet she survived it. That is a fighter. That is courage. That is strength.

Someone who lost their close friend who was sitting right next to her, moments before the plane impacted. To wake up and realize that everyone on that flight, that you went to school with DIED, and that you were the only survivor. To overcome that, to dry those tears, to look in the mirror and move on from such a traumatizing event and continue to be a positive individual... makes you a STRONG person.

I applaud her for sticking to her guns and look at each day with a smile. Because no matter what happens to you, if you still have your LIFE, it's never too late to start over and become a better person. She was given another chance, for what reasons? We will never know.

It isn't what the person wears, but what that person carries. Their story. That is what makes them beautiful.


Pharquest: The Church of Delusion?

My mind and mouth is full of controversy, but I can't help but touch on this subject (since this is a gay blog [and I won't touch on this OFTEN]) so grasp on it while it lasts. I want to scratch the surface of gay marriages in churches that don't accept it. I, as a homosexual, don't have a problem with gay marriage (of course), but I do tend to twitch at this type of scenario: A gay couple, that is obviously against the belief of a church's disapproval of holy matrimony between the same gender, would want to get married at that same church.

Why? is what boggles my mind. I'm blogging about this because I don't really know how to perceive it. Is it an act of religious rebellion? a "rub it in your face" if you will... ??... Not much can be said since I can't point out exactly which couples are doing it, I just know that this is what's going on and has been a motivated force of the "NO H8" epidemic.

I know my opinion may very well be different from the average homosexual, but in my opinion (as it is) it's kind of a hypocrisy. You don't accept one church's belief, but you continue to shove your opposing belief down their throats. Which is what causes conflict. You can't deny that! It's like me convincing a racist that black people aren't just good for picking cotton. It's time wasted. Hundreds and possibly thousands of Christians are enraged by the fact that there are "Churches of Satanism" existing in today's world, but can't do anything about it because of the 1st Amendment of the Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

I am a strong believer in respecting another's opinion and belief. No matter how ridiculous it is! You can't change people. But you can set an example. You don't have to agree, but you don't have to intimidate, ridicule, or disrespect a person regardless of what that belief/opinion may be. Be the bigger person. I've had this discussion with straight and gay friends, and each side has had different opinions.

Try to understand that a lot of these people that discriminate do it out of fear. Whenever a human is unaware of the logic behind something and doesn't understand it, they have 2 options: learn about it, or run away from it. Which ever path they choose, You can't force a close-minded person to be open-minded and I think that's what majority of these people are doing. Forcing the Church to change their beliefs. Stop judging each other! If it's not your boat, don't float in it. Try to find a church that DOES support your beliefs or, if you want, try to make one yourself! Insisting on suggesting churches to open up to gay marriage isn't the problem, it's bashing them when they reject you that is. I can't get mad at a Scientologist for not believing in Jesus. So, you can't get mad at a Christian for not believing in gay marriage. I know it's hard being rejected for who you are, but stooping to their level does only just that.

I know this post is a little messy, and I wish I had some facts and more insight to get the situation clearer. All I know is, if no one is getting hurt, it shouldn't be stressed. Nothing wrong with a little picket-sign battle, but if it's becoming violent and people's personal lifestyles are being violated, then it's going a bit TOO far. Play the game fair. If you don't want people to change your lifestyle, don't change theirs! And that goes for both religion and sexuality. I hope and pray it all gets resolved and we can all respect each other, despite our differences. What do you think?

I have learned...

NOT to underestimate people's               STUPIDITY, IGNORANCE, AND IMMATURITY. 


Pharquest: I've never been good with first words...

-and that's even with my own blogs. I was going to just post a picture of a cute puppy or videos of baby chickens, but if I'm going to be a part of a blog that deals with self-expression, I have to be serious about exposing the "entities" that coil through my mind. BUT! Firstly, maybe I should start by telling you all who I am? No? aw..... TOO BAD!

Well, to put it short...My name is... up there in the title... ha! ...Okay, seriously: I'm 19 years old, from gay central, A-T-L-A-N-T-A. I won't tell you TOO MUCH about me here, simply because that would defeat the purpose of the BLOG. Wouldn't make sense to put it all in one post now would it?

S-Fit-C has been my main squizzeeze for a few months now, (almost 6 mo.) and as some of you know from his recent post: we met online. I, myself, after experiences with "online dating" was absolutely against it. I was going to remain single, silent, and solo-dolo. But as feelings grew stronger, a familiar tune reflected what became US... (Aaries "Strangers to Lovers")

(Sorry, if you listened to the song you probably get the gist of it already... Love that song, BTW!)
I met him through Tumblr... Gay blogs started following me and for some reason I kept bumping into his S-FIT-C blog whenever I found myself browsing through dashboards. I went on his blog a couple of times, no pictures of him to be found, so I bypassed it. AGAIN, I encountered his blog, so I said "FUCK IT" and followed him.

He seemed genuinely nice to his followers and I loved that. Despite the fact that he posted porn (a bit of a turn-off for me), I hit him up and immediately began flirting. I didn't take it seriously then, but what became a game, unintentionally got serious. We poured our traits through Skype and we found to have a lot in common. Poetry, politics, and a good sense of humor is how you win my heart. And BOY did he. We literally ended up talking for hours. Nights we didn't sleep until the sun came up. I've never had this experience with anyone in my life.

I fell in love, and subliminally I think he did too. But I'd call him my "net-boo" cause, AGAIN, I didn't take the internet seriously. But my feelings for him grew stronger that I forgot we met off a website. But anyway, I don't want to bore you more than I already have. I'm not the mushy type (or at least I wasn't) until he came into my life. THE FUCK?! I was a hard-ass, but he turned me into a marshmallow. Is this love? Or is a nigga trippin'?! Y'all be straight up, 'cause I'm not the kind to front.

Again, I apologize for putting you through the hell of 5 paragraphs. I know this isn't English class, but I hope you liked the song! I'm a music feen, so one thing to expect from me is a lot of "cymatics" and my critical critiques of whether they're "HIT" or "SHIT", you'll understand what I mean later...

So, to end this long post, a LONG question!: What do you think about young adults falling in love? How do you feel about it being "online"? Do you think it's ridiculous? Or a new outlet to meet a potential soul-mate? THUS ENDING WITH: DO YOU BELIEVE IN SOUL-MATES?! I'M CURIOUS! GET TO TYPING!


My BOYFRIEND will now also be posting on Essfitcee. I told him I want him to be a part of this blog, because I know from conversations with him...he has A LOT to blog about. I want you all to welcome him with open arms... figuratively speaking, 'cause you BETTA NOT TOUCH MY MAN[hahaha] =)...So be on the lookout for his posts. 


Absolute SWEETEST Thing

My boyfriend sent this to me via twitter. This OBVIOUSLY touches us because this compares to THE exact situation we are in. We hope and pray THIS will be us someday.

The Flaws and Change

Of course, if it's ONE thing we know about the people of this world...it is that there are different types of people. Different types of people handle the flaws of their personality differently. Their are the ones that are really too stuck on themselves to admit their flaws...denial, there are ones that KNOW they have flaws but aren't too worried about changing, and then there are one that KNOW their flaws and try their BEST to correct them. Now which one sounds like progress to YOU? I have came to my own conclusion about those with flaws. To those that ignore them, or know of their problems, but wish not to change. Let me make an analogy...let's say a person is the most UGLY person in the world, but they never SEEN their OWN reflection, that person ISN'T the one that has to DEAL with SEEING that ugliness, but the people AROUND does. Being said THAT, some people WON'T be pressed to change the FLAWS of their personality, because sub-consciously  they feel they are not the one that has to DEAL with their shitty personality, so WHY change when they are not the one dealing with their problems first hand. I mean they are not being an ASSHOLE to themselves, but to those around them. If you are in denial...get OUT of it, we ALL have flaws. I'm working on MINES. If you KNOW you have flaws, but refuse to change...then WHAT progress are you making in life? I'll wait. Some people though...I feel sorry for their future, they won't realize it's time to change until they lose EVERYONE because they have finally push those who care away.  Because if you sit and think about it...NO ONE has the RIGHT to even BE so arrogant, some may have WAY too many problems for them to be so wrapped up in themselves. KNOW your flaws and try to DO SOMETHING about it...it's ALL a part of GROWING UP. If not, that's gonna be the FATAL FLAW that is going to leave you in LONELINESS.